Welcome back to I Do’s & Don’ts! This is a blog where I—an opinionated DJ—speak my mind about weddings. If you’d like to learn a bit about the guy writing this, feel free to check out my first post here! In this post, we’ll talk about a vital stage in your planning process- meeting a DJ, and seeing if they’re a good fit.

You need to have a 1-on-1 with the person on the 1’s and 2’s.

First and foremost, when you’re starting the booking process and you schedule that first meeting, make sure you’re speaking to the DJ who will actually be at your wedding, and not just a booking agent whose sole focus is getting your signature on a contract. I personally prefer to meet face-to-face, but a Zoom call can be sufficient, and even a phone call can do the job if you’re short on time. But if the person on the other end of your correspondence isn’t even the person who is showing up, that’s a huge red flag. There are some big-name companies (who will remain nameless here, but one may claim to have the connection with a DJ) that will advertise a great low price, telling you that they’ll take care of the booking process, and pair you with a fantastic DJ, who you’ll have a meeting with to lock in the fine details. That meeting will happen approximately 2-4 weeks before the wedding, far too late to book another DJ when you go “Oh this guy has no idea what he’s doing.”

When you inevitably see an ad for big savings with these big companies, be wary!

These situations are total gambles, and you should not be gambling when it comes to your wedding. Hit the casino for an afterparty if you’re feeling lucky, but don’t leave one of the biggest nights of your life to chance.

I’m going to be very blunt when I say this, and I’ll probably get some flack with vendors who read this: The DJs who are contracted by these national booking organizations are very often not professionals. They are usually new DJs who are just getting into the industry (which is fine, we all start somewhere) or DJs who are doing weddings to just to pick up some extra cash. And your Big Day should be so much more than just a side hustle.

I am in no way telling you that all booking organizations are guilty of this, I operate one! But I absolutely am telling you that the good ones will have you speak with the DJ you’re booking to ensure they’re a good fit. Smaller organizations care a great deal about your satisfaction - it’s critical to their reputation that you walk away with positive memories, ready to give them a 5-star review.

An organization booking thousands of events a year sees your wedding as just another row in a spreadsheet.

Does your taste in music line up with the DJ’s?

Enthusiasm plays a huge part in your DJ’s performance. DJs do what they do because they love music (well, hopefully). If their tastes don’t gel with the music you want to have played at your wedding, it can lead to a few problems:

• The DJ could veer away from your preferences and instead lean into their own, changing the vibe you spent a significant amount of time and money planning for and dreaming about.

• Following the previous point, some DJs may think they just know better (says the know-it-all writing a blog?) and may choose to disregard your Do-Not-Playlist (DNP). “Hm. Dance floor’s dying, I know they said not to play the Cha Cha Slide, but that’s a crowd pleaser. They probably won’t notice if I throw it in to get the crowd going.” In my opinion, defying the DNP is at best unprofessional, and at worst disrespectful. (We’ll chat more about the DNP in a later post.)

• The DJ could (heckin’ better!) remain respectful of the music that you want played, but they may not have the interest or knowledge necessary on how best to blend the tracks together. This can lead to a bland performance, where energy levels just aren’t where they should be. Remember, we’re trying to throw the party of a lifetime in your honor. Every vendor should bring their A-Game - especially the person with huge speakers and a microphone at their disposal.

I’m the one writing this, and I’ll be the first to say I’m not the best fit for every wedding! If I’m meeting with a couple who tells me they want country music to be the primary focus of their reception’s soundtrack, I’ll likely refer them to a DJ on my team who I believe would fit the vibe better. My knowledge of country music just isn’t sufficient to be able to mix a great set for 5+ hours. Sure I can do it decently, but my priority is to put on the best performance possible for my clients, and not just to collect a check from them. That’s not to say I wouldn't play any country music if you asked, just don’t expect me to “show up in boots and ruin your black-tie affair.” (Best country reference I could think of. How’d I do?)

Would the person you’re interviewing make a good MC?

Do you get the impression that the person on the other end of the table/screen/phone has the ability to speak clearly and confidently on the mic without coming across as cheesy and gimmicky? Ask them how they run a room! Does their idea for how an MC operates sync up with how you're hoping your MC will work?

When I MC, I generally prefer quick and concise mic work, with little moments of humor without it becoming cheesy or too wordy. A little personality coming through is a good thing. You don't want your announcements to sound like the MTA's "Stand clear of the closing doors, please..." but you also don't need some dude demanding that everyone "MAKE SOME NOllIlISE" because they just opened the buffet. A good MC does so much more than just hype up the crowd. If their background in MCing comes solely from nightclubs, that may not be the vibe you’re going for.

Side note: Is anyone else out there tired of the cattle calling some DJs do when it's time to release tables for dinner? "Table 7, please grab your plates and help yourselves" on the speakers in front of 200 other guests just feels so impersonal. My preference, you ask? I like to turn the mic off, approach each table, and invite guests to eat when it's their turn. It's more friendly, and it gives me a chance to connect with guests before we really get the party started!

A Bride’s Testimony

Below, I’ll share a conversation I had with a friend from high school who had inquired about booking me, but ended up going with one of these big-name companies due to pricing. Her name has been changed to protect her identity.

This starts with me making a post on March 14th, 2024 on Facebook which read: As of today, I’ve been a wedding DJ for a whole decade! I’m happy with my career choice, and I’m really, really lucky. Thanks to everyone who’s helped me, hired me, recommended me, or taught me valuable lessons to improve my craft. Wouldn’t be able to do it without you.

Helen commented: Congratulations! That’s amazing. If you ever want to hear a testimonial of why people shouldn’t pass you up to hire the cheapest DJ option for their wedding… I have that story.

Max: I think I would very much like to hear this story!

Helen (via private message): Okay so first of all, the DJ I ended up hiring in 2016 wasn’t THAT much cheaper than what you quoted me. If I wasn’t an idiot, I would have just hired you. I should have cancelled my booking when we were planning and he “wasn’t familiar with” Canon in D. But I didn’t. This dude showed up in jeans and a quarter zip to my wedding. I only had one song on my “absolutely not- do not play” list and he used that song to sound check because he thought it was hilarious. He literally alternated fast and slow songs all night so the vibe was super weird and nobody could dance. About halfway through the reception he realized he was underdressed and so he took off his quarter zip to reveal an 80’s rock t-shirt. Like that’s better. I honestly feel like there’s more but I’ve tried to block it out. Absolutely my biggest regret. It was terrible and I ended up getting a 50% refund because he even told the service that I booked with that he did a bad job.

Max: Wait so the guy even knew throughout that he was doing a bad job and self-reported???

Helen: So I called and complained to the booking service a couple days after my wedding and he was like “no way, this can’t be right, this guy has done hundreds of weddings for me. Let me talk to him and see what he has to say” and then he called me back the next day and was like “yeah I talked to him and reviewed his set list and we’re going to go ahead and give you a partial refund.” So I’m assuming the guy was just like “oh yeah I fucked up she’s probably pissed.”

Max: Oh man. This all honestly hurts to read. I’m sorry it was such a rough experience. Thank you for sharing this with me though. If I were to put your experience in a blog and keep it anonymous, would that bother you? It’d make for a good read on my website haha

Helen: Now I’m not young and dumb and I realize the value of supporting small businesses, so I can look back and laugh at myself. It was so bad that my husband and I have talked about renewing our vows at 10 years so that 1. I can wear my dress again and 2. I can get a redo on the reception. Maybe you posting about it can save someone else’s wedding.

Final Thoughts

For every couple who writes a comment on a bride-to-be’s post on FB asking for DJ recommendations, saying they had a great experience with these big name companies, you can find 2-3 couples with stories exactly like the one above. Being a DJ is so much fun, but that does not mean that the person in charge of your music shouldn’t take their job seriously. Find a DJ who doesn’t view your wedding as just another gig.

Thank you so much for reading! My next post will be 10 Questions You Should Ask Your DJ! Until then, if you’re interested in booking a DJ, I’d love to be considered. Click the link below, and let’s talk about music!